By loving your natural face including the features which aren’t ‘trendy’, you are empowering yourself and giving yourself the ability to not put make-up on out of shame, but out of love.
Learn to love your natural face
There is no single better way to love makeup in a healthy way, then to love your face without anything on it (I’ll allow moisturiser). Without truly loving yourself as you are naturally, you will only have surface-level love for your face when you do put your make-up on. If your love for yourself goes deeper (even when you truly don’t think you look that great,) then wearing makeup is only going to be the cherry on top of the cake, not the cake itself. You can have a great cake without a cherry on top, but you can’t have a cake with just the cherry. Likewise, you cannot have high self-confidence and true self-appreciation if you do not love your face without anything extra, and to have your make-up on a face with no self-love is like having a cherry on an empty plate. Not the best, right?
Some tips for this:
- take care of your skin – if you have skin problems which are lowering your self-esteem, prioritise clearing these away instead of investing your time on covering it artificially (more on this later).
- don’t compare your features to the “ideal” social media type. Having the fullest hair with clear tanned skin, big eyes, long eyelashes and plump lips is nice, but it’s also not the most important thing in the world. Also, keep in mind that beauty trends change all the time, so there’s never a real winner in the beauty industry. Just 50 years ago, being black or tanned in the beauty industry would automatically make you ‘too dark’ to be beautiful, but now everyone’s trying to be as dark and tanned as possible. Big lips used to be ‘ugly’ and now they’re not. And don’t even get me started on the never ending battle between curly hair and straight hair! My point is, don’t compare yourself; it’s a never ending abyss of negativity and I promise that there is somewhere in this world that everything about you is the IDEAL beauty standard, you just haven’t discovered it yet. I’m only saying this to remind you that beauty standards change everyday and they should be ignored as much as possible.
- if you like taking selfies or any other pictures of yourself, try to avoid the latest self-esteem destructor … filters. Wether it’s on snapchat, instagram, facebook etc … our favourite social media can also be our biggest cause of anxiety and insecurity. By avoiding wearing filters on your face when taking pictures, you’re avoiding distorting your own beauty standards and making yourself believe that you need something on your face to make yourself more beautiful. Remove this habit (I know I genuinely struggle with this one) and get used to seeing your face in its barest form, even if you look pale, tired and messy.
- another way of liking your face make-up less is by getting used to going out and about without wearing a drop of makeup. This might be the usual case for some, but for some (like me) the idea of looking worn-out, pale and tired when going out is nothing short of horrifying. I have force myself not to add a touch of concealer and some blush before leaving the house, but honestly, most days I end up quickly adding some anyways. I need to work on this as I can feel that it is impacting my self-confidence when I have nothing on my face, and I advice anyone else with the same habit to try to do the same.
Don’t blow every penny on make-up
There is a very understandable temptation to BUY EVERY NEW PRODUCT that comes out because they look and sound SO EXCITING!!! But like everything else in life, make-up should be loved and consumed in moderation. Spending thousands on makeup (if you have the average income) is hugely irresponsible and this is financially and mentally unhealthy for you. Remember your income should first and foremost cover all you necessary expenses, then some should be put aside for saving, and the rest can be spent on your true love (make-up, of course). Pushing past this limit and getting yourself into financial trouble to buy something you can’t afford is unsustainable in the long-term and is a sign of a lack of self-discipline, which we don’t want (obviously).
Develop other parts of yourself
I once spoke to a close friend of mine about make-up, and how I liked to wear it in a natural way that compliments my face them whiles others cake layers upon layers and try so obviously to alter their facial features. I was confused about this, but something she said struck me; she told me that what is on the inside of a person is usually reflected through make-up. For example, she said, you’re very spiritual so your makeup reflects the fact that you’re at peace with yourself and you accept the features you were born with. A lot of people aren’t at peace with their features and themselves in general, which can be seen by their excessive make-up and their clear desire to draw new features onto their face.
This observation left me shocked; I had never before made the connection between the spiritual and emotional side of a person and their physical appearance, most importantly their make-up. It seemed a bit silly to give make-up so much spiritual importance, but it made so much sense. What we feel on the inside is clearly going to show on the outside.
This leads to my next point: developing on other parts of yourself. Whiles practising make-up for your outer appearance, you should also try spend the same amount of time, if not more, working on developing your fundamental inner self; this could be through meditation, spirituality, higher self-awareness, reading, yoga etc …
There are endless ways to work on yourself and grow as a person; doing this whiles consciously developing a positive mindset can lead to amazing results both on the inside and the outside. So instead of hiding your inner insecurities through make-up, take the hard route and overcome those insecurities first; once those are gone, you will have the freedom to do or wear whatever you feel like wearing, but out of pure confidence and self-acceptance, not out of fear.
Do NOT compare yourself
In Theodore Roosevelt’s words: “Comparison is the thief of joy” and boy was he right. No matter how famous or confident someone may be (let’s take Beyonce as an example), if that person started to compare themselves to somebody else who they looked up to, self-doubt would immediately plant itself in their minds and their self confidence will be impacted. Mastering the balance between being inspired by others, and COMPARING yourself, is a hard balance to find as it’s so easy to slip from one side to the other.
Knowing the worth you bring to yourself and those around you is crucial, because that can never be compared to anyone else’s value, just like a fingerprint. There are billions of fingerprints around the world, yet none of them are exactly the same. This is the exact same thing with the worth you bring yourself and others; there’s no two people like you. So next time you’re tempted to compare your beauty to anyone online or in real life (especially those “omg I’m wearing no makeup and I look so great!!!” celebrities) just remember that your existence doesn’t depend on being perfect on the outside, but it does depend on the decisions you take and the way you chose to perceive yourself and others.
Don’t use make-up to change your features
A common mistake girls make when putting make-up on is to use it as way of changing the things they don’t like about themselves. Now, if you’ve been reading ANYTHING I’ve written so far, you’ll know this is a big no-no. The healthiest way to wear make-up is to use it in a way that enhances your natural features, not by trying to change what you don’t like (btw, it’s pretty impossible to actually look different in real life, anyone standing close to you will be able to see your real features. Posting online is a obviously different story, but we know the internet can be a fat lie).
Some applicable tips:
- Stick to your skin colour when wearing foundation or other base products. I’ve seen too many light skin girls wearing a dark tan foundation, or dark skinned girls wearing foundations that are 3 shades too light for their skin. There is nothing wrong with being very light or very dark or anything in the middle, so there’s no point in wearing a temporary new skin for a few hours before going back to your natural colour. Inner self-love will lead to outer beauty, but maybe just not in the way you imagine it.
- Don’t try to redraw your features. The most common sight in parts of Europe and the US is drawn on eyebrows, huge fake eyelashes and over exaggerated cheekbones. These are all fine in moderation, but like we said before, it’s not emotionally healthy for you to not accept the features you naturally have and to blatantly try to use make-up to alter them. Try to use softer shades and more natural colours instead to enhance what you naturally have, and forget about the endless flaws you might see on your face. Happiness and peace comes from being happy with yourself, not by changing yourself artificially. (This doesn’t mean that you can’t find natural ways to enhance certain parts of your face, ie by growing out your eyebrows, or tinting them slightly darker, or catching a tan etc…).
- Use cream and liquid make-up for a more blended and natural look. The problem with some powdered products, such as powder highlighter, is that it looks like artificial streaks of makeup on your face. For a more natural look (if that’s what you want) use cream and liquid products that are easily blend-able and which leave room for you natural features to take the centre-stage attention.
To round this long blog post up, my aim in writing this isn’t to tell anyone what to do or how to live their life. However, I do aim to point out certain unhealthy mindsets that have deeply ingrained themselves in our society, especially when it comes to body image and beauty. My hope is that women across the globe can start emotionally and spiritually empowering themselves before they go on to empowering themselves physically, as one is incomplete without the other. I believe strongly in balance and moderation, and this concept applies to beauty just as much as it applied to everything else in life.
Once your internal balance has been reached, and you don’t feel the need to live up to any of the beauty standard around you, you are free to OBSESS over make-up as much as your heart desires. It’s all upwards from here!
Please let me know what you think of this post, if I’ve made any mistakes anywhere or if you have thoughts on this topic, please let me know in the comments!
‘Til next time xx